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There are days

There are days where I wish with all of me that I kept a pseudonymous blog.
There are days where the rules I set for myself, and not just here, keep me from saying what I should.
There are days where it all just seems uphill and getting steeper.

There are days where I don't have a lot of love in my heart.

And days where being dramatic feels better than being wise.

That's all. And here I thought that cranky was last week.


As Ms. J's coworker says, "Somedays it just sucks to be you."

I hope you called someone you can trust and vented but good.

I don't know what brought this on, and I never have a problem with being dramatic, so I'll say that sometimes it's both okay and healthy to break rules. It's also okay to be cranky and growl a bit.

You have my support, and whatever I can do to help, I will.

Would it make you feel any better if I'd just, before I even read this, appointed you my blog's godfather?

I've been thinking similiar thoughts lately about wishing that I had a pseudonymous blog....

I hope that your uphill climb levels off a bit.

I hear you. Yesterday I found out that I didn't get this thing I applied for that I really wanted and thought I had a good shot at, and it was just generally a terrible day, except for the great Valentine's day gift I received. I was filled with rage all day; it permeated everything I tried to do. I went to the gym to try to exercise my frustration away, and my bangs kept falling in my eyes (I'm growing them out). I couldn't get them behind my ears, and it was pissing me off beyond belief. I wanted to holler, "This is NOT HELPING!!" but instead I got off the elliptical machine and left. It took me a long time to calm down, and I found myself wishing for a pseudonymous blog too.

And today I have to go to the dentist because I have a persistent toothache, and I'll quite possibly have to have some kind of procedure. :-(

I've thought about starting up another blog, too, to vent a lot of frustrations I've been experiencing lately, but what stops me is that I'm positive writing them out would only make them more real to me (and they're real enough already, thanks). That's when I turn to my good old-fashioned password-protected diary and fill it up with naughty words... (Hmmm... actually, doing this on a pseudonymous blog would be OK, too...)

see... this is when all the cutesy features of lj come in damn handy. you can friends-lock a rant so that only, say, 4 or 5 trusted rant-readers can hear about it & respond, & when anybody else opens your page, the locked post simply isn't there.

it's a little like writing in secret codes to hide things from your mom, sure, but c'mon, that was cool!